It is the morning of my second day “in
residence” at VarnaLab; a small 'report' seems in order.
Officially, waking up is very difficult, though easier this AM.
Yesterday, I arrived at VarnaLab at about the same hour I am used to
rolling out of bed. As no-one was at the space yet, I elected to
arrive about an hour later today.
Monday was particularly “quiet,” I
believe because of the (ongoing?) holiday. After making some
adjustments to my own Tumblr (and realizing that I actually could not
make the adjustments I needed to my Tumblr), I began working on
“Spectacle.”
Spectacle is a project that I abandoned
almost exactly a year ago; I hope that I will be able to finish it
during this week, however – the process is already disheartening.
The project will be a single web-page intended to address the
temptation to create the spectacular over the insightful. I think it
speaks to a certain ambivalence that seems to plague most
contemporary artists, particularly myself. However, I think it also
speaks to the ambivalence I see within this “residency” proposal.
I find myself constantly torn between the quiet reflection of simply
'being' in a space, and the desire to do something which is visible
or obviously worthwhile. Additionally, a similar ambivalence has
punctuated my time in Bulgaria – in general. I find that while I
feel a certain responsibility towards affecting change, my innermost
desire is to remain completely hidden – unnoticed.
Regarding the technical aspects of
“Spectacle,” for those interested. I am creating the work with
jQuery, and am having to figure out jQuery's animation queue
functionality. Yesterday, I managed to get the project back to where
it was a year ago, before I broke it. :) The day was filled with many
wtf!?!? → “I am a genius!” moments. I imagine today will be
similar. We shall see.
Finally, I am thinking about words...
the words that I have and don't have, the words that we use to
describe. I think that whatever I end up doing – it will involve
words.
For your enjoyment – my emotional
states yesterday, maybe you have been in a similar position:
